Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Priceless Thoughts


A penny for your thoughts.

Really?

Are our thoughts that relatively cheap?

Personally, I think I’d value my thoughts to be worth more than the overall yearly income of the average American citizen.

Maybe people would take into consideration the high-standard price I set for my thoughts if we lived in a world where you could actually pay to know another person’s internal thinking.

But we don’t.

And no matter how much you may wish on a shooting star or pray to God that you know what a certain-someone thinks about you, you will never know.

Depressing, isn’t it.

But there is one dilemma that has been plaguing me all week (or for the past fifteen years of existence), and it is the following:

Do I really want to know what people are thinking?

There will be times when the current object of your affection seems to be unaware of your presence on earth, and you would like to verify that fact in order to be sure of where you stand.

Which in that case, would be nowhere.

Sorry.

Or maybe you’d like to have an inner look into what those Ivy League interviewers thought about you, or what your in-laws really say when they’re not communicating in French (which completely excludes you from the conversation.)

I, personally, I have no other regard for that special would-be possibility if not for the ability to read a guy’s mind (Particularly one of certain importance to my interest).

Simply put, I am teenage girl just like all the rest.

I like boys.

If anything, that should satisfy you completely just by clarifying the unlikelihood of finding me someday in a random alley-way instigating several unmentionable acts with the female specimen. Be thankful.

So of course I sometimes wonder what that certain guy is thinking about me or if he is even thinking about me at all.

But what about the random people you just want to assure yourself feel highly towards you?

Maybe the one person you thought you could trust thinks you’re an invaluable scum who reads books for fun and therefore should go hide an isolated cave for the rest of her lackluster life.

Would you really like to find out that out of all the people you were so happy with, the majority really wanted to have your ass fried on a stick?

What about it regarding you? Would you like your every little secret, lust, and hidden shame to be poured out to anyone who had enough money to buy your most hidden, prized possessions? Your thoughts?

Even if the responses are positive and everyone seems to be who they really are, what would be the point?

What would be the fun if you could pin point every little think a person thought of you from the start?

How would you even learn to overcome those certain things and grow to meet them?

Maybe I’m not making any sense.

Maybe this sounded all the more better in my head.

Maybe that special guy does return those feelings, or maybe he barely notices me all. But why classify everything into perfect slots?

Why take the fun out of waiting for him to call, or waiting for the acceptation to that University, why take away the fun in life?

So bearing in mind that our mind--our thoughts--- is the only thing that we can truly keep for ourselves, why wish for the chance to break those apart just because of our selfish need for other’s approval or admiration?

Thoughts are private. Thoughts are spontaneity.

A penny?

Thoughts are priceless.