Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Unmistakable Talent


I never really finished Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson.

That would probably be because I’m not very into deep, emotional, ‘heartbreaking’ books.

And, I’m sorry if this beginning:

“It is my first morning of high school. I have seven new notebooks, a skirt I hate, and a stomachache.”

failed to keep me hooked.

But, rather letting that tiny ineffective encounter with her writing for the second time (Prom was pretty good, actually) go, I came across this quote in her book Wintergirls, which seriously made me cringe (not at her writing) , all the while realizing this woman has some serious talent:


"Why? You want to know why?



Step into a tanning booth and fry yourself for two or three days. After our skin bubbles and peels off, roll in coarse salt, then pull on long underwear woven from spun glass and razor wire. Over that goes your regular clothes, as long as they are tight.



Smoke gunpowder and go to school to jump through hoops, sit up and beg, roll over on command. Listen to the whispers that curl inside your head at night, calling you ugly and fat and stupid and bitch and whore and worst of all "a disappointment." Puke and starve and cut and drink because you don't want to feel any of this. Puke and starve and cut and drink because you need the anesthetic and it works. For a while. But then the anesthetic turns into poison and by then it's too late because you are mainlining it now, straight to your soul. It is rotting you and you can't stop.



Look in a mirror and find a ghost. Hear every heartbeat scream that everysinglething is wrong with you.



"Why?" is the wrong question.



Ask "Why not?' "



Maybe it’s just her way with wrapping words together so they flow in a creepy and yet artistic way.

Creepy in the way that I really will try to postpone the day I have to fry in what people call a tanning booth (but ‘baking oven’ fits the term SO much better) and having my flesh stripped from my body leaving me dreadfully naked.

Artistic in the way she describes getting struck on crack, snorting a grating amount of cocaine, and piercing yourself with needles stuffed with heroine all the while dealing with today’s idiot human race constantly shattering and breaking down the wall you have worked so hard to put up.

Eerie in the way she says that:
- constantly heaving out your stomach
- repudiating the only source of energy to the haven of your body
- and assuming the role of burning your liver by tolerating the smolder of alchohol down your throat

Helps relieve the pain, if only for a second.

Amazing in the way that she gets the message across that something we see every day in desperate teenagers and inconsolable runway models is actually as bad as it sounds.

She makes you feel the pain, sense the dread, undergo the agony….


With only a couple of words:

Now THAT’s talent.

No comments:

Post a Comment