I Came Out of The Cougar Closet

You can’t help but feel special when a random eight-year old boy tells you you’re pretty.

No, I do not have a disgusting pedophile-induced fetish for eight-year old boys. And when I do decide to embrace my cougar ways, I’ll be on my way to thirty dating a hot twenty –year old surfer model-type with the IQ of fish, but with drool-worthy washboard abs.

Haha. Joke.

Anyway, no matter the circumstances, you can’t deny that if someone compliments you out of nowhere, a certain drift of specialness won’t race up your spine and say, “YES! Finally my out-of-this-world beauty is acknowledged.”

Or, “YES! I got someone of the male specimen to give me a second look!”

If the normal reaction in your case is most likely the latter, remember that everyone is beautiful and only you can be the judge of what beauty really means to you.

But you can also be happy because someone thinks you’re pretty!

Shallow, superficial, obnoxious?

I prefer happy, positive, and appreciative.

And yet shallowness does come up in this situation, but there are times in life when you have to be free and let your arrogant, greedy sides emerge.

And appreciating a comment is anything if not being gracious to an affable compliment.

It’s common courtesy to accept the fact that you are physically gifted.

That last one sounded so funny, I’m going to keep it for time-sakes of my originality. (Spare the cynical laughs).

So here I am, walking towards the bus, heading to the haven I call my home, and away from the paper-wasting world conundrum called school, when out of nowhere this cute little boy with the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen, randomly pops up in front of me, and says, “Hi, you’re really pretty.”

And that’s when I fainted of pure bliss and went to heaven.

Kidding. Geez, what do you think of me?

“You’re really cute too, cutie,” I said, and that was that.

This is a story that will go down in history, down from generation to generation about how a cute little eight year old that will probably grow up to be a world-renown player, came up to me that Wednesday afternoon and made my day.

History text books through-out the world, be ready to have my name stamped across your tree-wasting existence, narrating that eventful evening when my life changed for the better and I learned to appreciate the human race.

Plus, I learned a very interesting new rule for life.

Life Lesson #2:

When the time comes and we cease to await the day that guys will stop being narcissistic ass-wipes whose only goal in life is to try and get into our pants, get a cute single-digit aged cutie to wipe that frown off your face and tell you you are a hot piece of respected and admired woman.

Life will never be the same again.