Do Try. Please.

Let’s pretend for a second that the female race isn’t the obscenely annoying and needy faction it certainly is, and that for once in its inhumane existence, it developed some pride.

Wait.

We can’t.

At least I can’t.

I guess being part of the female specimen myself, I’d most likely be more inclined to praise my gender, and yet I can’t help but note the complete disregard and obstruction we have for common sense.

Yes.

I am a traitor to the double X chromosome.

But you would be too if you were to witness atrociously needy girls incessantly call their boyfriends to the point where the latter become indisputably deaf, whine and moan about the extra body-fat that prohibits them from looking downright emaciated, and shamelessly talking trash about any other female who just happens to come on their radar.

Okay.

Is it a foreign concept that when you suffocate someone to the point of death, they’re going to want to get away from said asphyxiating entity as soon as possible? Well, it shouldn’t be. (Although I seriously hope you know because of common sense and not because you’ve actually taken part in someone’s demise).

The same goes for relationships. Breathe on someone so much and cling like some tear-producing, hyena-like-screeching, emotionally-messed-up being?

Chances are they’re going to run.

Fast.

And please don’t point out some barely-there flaw that can only be seen under a microscope. Try and obtain a higher self-esteem via counseling or stop trying to gain compliments telling you “What are you talking about? You are so not fat,” because you already know that, and if your ego gets any bigger, the Earth might just tip on its axis.

Please.

As for the bashing of any girl that happens to guarantee a spot on your ‘Hate List’? God knows if it’s someone who you feel inferior too, threatened by, or just plain dislike. But dissecting every single crevice of their being as if they were a pig laid out for slaughter is not going to help you feel any better. Saying the girl over there that can pass for a Greek Goddess is a genetic miscarriage will not make you drool-worthy attractive. Jealousy is unbecoming.

And so is vocalizing unnecessary commentary about random people.

It’s annoying.

So do try and restrain yourselves.

People say we’re needy, facetious, self-criticizing, faultfinding and hypocritical human beings. And maybe inside all of us there lies a tiny bit of all those aforementioned attributes. But do we necessarily have to make it World News that we feel that way?

Try and tone it down a little. Okay. A lot.

So next time you send a guy running for the hills, you realize no one gives a crap about your self-deprecating thoughts, and you find yourself being tossed aside because you’re too busy talking about the random girl on your left?

Don’t say I didn’t tell you so.